so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
