dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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