You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
