I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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