The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
