your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
