I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Randomize
