the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Randomize
