Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
farters have to be the big spoon...
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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