I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
