he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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