I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
