She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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