what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize