I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
