We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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