Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
