Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
He passed out mid-signature
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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