I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
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