dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
is it fun? or sober?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
