Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
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