glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
