Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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