big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
