Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize