I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
