dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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