oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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