Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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