from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
