O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
