sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
