google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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