We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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