tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
