i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
