I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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