so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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