he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
