? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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