Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
