Its about making memories worth repressing
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
