Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
