i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He better not be in your backpack
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
