so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
