Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Randomize