Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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