you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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