I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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