as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize