he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
