I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I wear drunk well.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
