Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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