Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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