There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
