I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
