So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
