i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
