Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
