I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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