that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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