barbara walters just said penis...
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
