the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Randomize
