hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
