I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
