mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
