do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
